Filling Up the Nest
As I walk the lanes at Target I see the school supplies, backpacks, and all the outfits on display for the new 2026-2027 school year. All I can say is “I miss those days”. Well maybe not. We are on a new year ourselves, the continuation of “Empty Nester” but let's start changing that mind set of empty nesting into “filling up the nest”.
With two kids being active duty, the third living his best life on his own and the fourth back at her 5thand a half year of college, it gives us the sense of “reclaimed freedom” so to speak. To be on my own schedule, not someone else's, a little more money in the bank, a clean house and less groceries required. To watch BRAVO or HGTV when I want to, or go on day trips or long vacations all without trying to manage four kids' endless schedules. It’s a beautiful thing! So what is next?
It is time to focus on me. Do a personal deep dive with yourself and figure out what your needs are.What is my purpose in this next chapter. Maybe it is to create new goals and hobbies. From my personal fitness/wellness level to learning how to watercolor for example. Trying something new and stepping out of my comfort zone. Though this can be intimidating, give it a try. Reaching out to family and friends who may be going through the same adjustments. Fill up that calendar with things you want to do, not just all those kids' activities.Switching roles from a 24/7 mom can be challenging and exciting but it does take some time. Be patient with yourself and give yourself a little grace. Change can be hard.
Reconnecting with my husband. “30 years strong” I like to say. With communicating, showing up and being present makes that reconnection so much better. Find your partner's love language and making “us” a priority. Start dating all over again. Create couples goals and try new hobbies with each other. Your marriage can be a carnival ride at times with the ups and downs. It to can be hard and takes work, but now is the time for patience, grace, understanding and prioritizing each other.
Form a new relationship with your kids. Let go of the reins and be the trusted parent. Establish a new adult to adult friendship, not their daily manager. Don't expect text messages and phone calls everyday, give them time to start their own new lives. Try to be a good listener first and not a problem solver. Give them space to grow and learn. Tell them all about your new goals and hobbies you intend to create, they may surprise you and create a few more for you to add to your list
Lastly, it's time to make an all around emotional reset. The house is quiet and empty and it can bring bitter sweet feelings. The sadness, the feeling of not having a daily purpose, maybe even loneliness. Recognize those feelings, you should be feeling all those and more. Embrace them, but remember to feel all the pride, relief and excitement of your child's and yes yours to, new independence.
This filling up the nest can be the best chapter yet. Get used to the quiet house and spread those wings, find your purpose. Don’t get me wrong, I do miss those annual trips of buying new backpacks, lunch boxes and school shoes. Now I can spend that time and money on mastering my new hobby, our next date night, and me, filling my nest the way I want to. As Mel Robbins would say “ Focus on flapping those wings not the empty nest and launch yourself into a full life”.
Blessings to all~
Jenn
